Sunday, August 28, 2011

Annalynn life script currency analysis


Uniqueness ++
One & Only +++
Feelings +
Power +
Reverse Status +
Pied Piper
Booze +
Food +
Words ++


N picture

You are quite unique Annalynn as this is quite an unusual set of results that you provide. The main thing I can say about it is that it could be reflective of disordered attachment. I know you a little bit but not a lot so I will have to speak more generally.

Research shows that children who grow up in a monomatric family will tend to have singular attachments in adulthood. This could be seen to represent the script currency of one and only and uniqueness. Especially the quality of the exclusion of others. Children who grow up in more polymatric families will have a more diverse set of attachments in adulthood.

In terms of psychological games this could result in what are called exclusion games. These are played the best of all by teenage girls. Those who establish peer groups and then keep some others out of them. This is not saying that you do such things just that you would be hypersensitive to such behaviour.

Because of the singular attachment there could develop problems with loyalty, betrayal and so forth, including exclusion games as mentioned before.

3 competing women

Of course there is nothing wrong or unhealthy about having singular attachments. From a psychological point of view if the needs for human contact are met in one or two attachments then there is no problem. Others usually have more attachments to meet those needs but as long as the needs are being meet then there is not a psychological problem.

The main danger is you put all your eggs in one basket. If the primary attachment figure dies or moves away then you may be left bereft of other attachments.


Saturday, August 27, 2011

Kahless script currency analysis


One and only ++
Reverse status ++
Drugs ++
Booze ++


Booze and drugs

Games: alcoholic, cops & robbers
Psychosexual stage: Oral
Lifestyle/occupation: Gourmet, wine taster, narc, temperance league, junkie
Illnesses: Gastrointestinal, oral problems
Therapist: Addiction counselling
Personality: Antisocial, schizoid, narcissistic
Issues: Can be more severe in terms of life threatening, despair rather than depression

Dont look

Tends to result from pre-verbal quite early problems with the primary attachment figure. Primary attachment figures may be emotionally absent in some way.

May have a tendency to move to a position of non life if not obviously self destructive. Stroke deprivation can result when the individual enters periods of incapacitation (non life) which may last many months.

Possibility of openly self destructive behaviour with the use of alcohol and drugs but also by other means as well. Possible suicidal urges.

The sophistication of smoking Peter Styvestant thins.

Quite amenable to psychotherapy but needs to find a good attachment figure in a therapist. If achieved then considerable psychological gains can result but it takes time.

Needs to structure life such that social isolation does not result even though there maybe a constant pull to that position.


Linda life script currency analysis


Uniqueness +++
One and Only na
Tears and Feelings na
Sex + 
Violence n/a 
Pied Piper n/a
Drugs n/a
Booze n/a
Food +
Power na
Reverse Status ++
Words +++
Money ++
Beauty ++


Games: Psychiatry, Greenhouse
Psychosexual stage: Anal or possible oral
Lifestyle/occupation: Lawyer, politician, writer, journalist, orator, salesman, psychotherapist, debater
Illnesses: Elective mutism, migraines, neck/shoulder pain,
Therapist: Intellectual therapies are attractive
Personality: Obsessive compulsive, paranoid

Ladies in raincoats

These people are sometimes said to be “Dead from the neck down”. They retreat to the safety of thinking and thus there can be a mind body split. Out of touch with their body and thus one can have eating disorders or various forms of self harming. Out of touch with what their body is saying and thus detached from part of the Free Child.

Retreat to intellectualisation so as to hide from feelings (at least some of the painful ones).


Need to access the Free Child in therapy. The Free Child has gone into hiding for some very good reason and accessing it will bring up those reasons which may be quite distressing.

Body therapies might be an idea to deal with the mind body split. Physical contact needed as there may also be a history of prolonged stroke deprivation.

If it is a reflection of oral stage issues there could be obvious suicidal or self destructive impulses or more subliminal self destuctive impulses displayed through such things as alcohol abuse, chronic cigarette smoking or severe eating problems.


Friday, August 26, 2011

Crocus life script currency analysis


Uniqueness ++
One & Only +
Feelings +
Power +++
Reverse Status
Sex +
Beauty +
Pied Piper
Booze ++
Food ++
Money ++
Words +
Drugs ++


Games: Cops & robbers, rapo
Psychosexual stage: Anal
Lifestyle/occupation: Politics, examiners, critics, the ‘boss’, police, doctors, psychotherapists
Therapist: Supervisor-supervisee disputes, industrial mediation
Personality: Paranoid, Antisocial
Issues: Control, penis envy, dependency.

Woman with balloons
Rapo is a power based game

The life script is lived out via power in relationships with others. This is what will become the issue in relationships and the means by which psychological games in relationships are played out.

In the winner’s life script the power is used for the benefit of self and others. In the loser life script, power will leave the individual with dysfunctional relationships and in an unhealthy state of mind.

Powerful lady

The Adapted Child ego state will seek the power position in relationships and the Free Child will crave dependency in relationships. Therapeutic goal is to get to the dependency and have the client satisfy the craving for the powerless position in relationships.


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Life script currency

People can live out the same life script but using different currencies. The ‘thing’ you use to live out your life script can differ but there is still the same life script out come.

Eric Berne proposed three script outcomes


Someone who gets where he intends to go and has a good time doing it.

In a Winner’s script the strokes are positive - they are highly charged and the ending is pleasant.

Eric Berne describes a Winner as someone who accomplishes his declared purpose, and does so from an I’m OK You’re OK position.


The non-winner’s script is Banal. It has no highs or lows, and is based on the philosophy of “at least....”.

This script includes both positive and negative strokes, and neither are of great intensity.

The profile of this type of script is - Work Hard. Play it Safe. Live life along the lines of the greatest majority. Put up with things. Aim for the middle of the road.

The formula is to avoid exciting situations or risky endeavours.

To avoid uncertainty, the people with this type of script will operate more from the Adult ego state and less from the creative Child ego state.

Mom & son


This can be a high energy script, and it can often end in tragedy.

Strokes in this script are often negative.

The ending of the losers script is predictable and usually unpleasant.

The disastrous outcome can range from less severe to most severe.


Each of these can be lived out using different currencies. Below is a questionnaire to discover your script currency.

Script Currency 001

If you wish to complete I will show you what are the features of your script currency.


The suicidal process

In my book I discuss the seven main types of suicide decisions these being

If you don’t change I will kill myself
If things get too bad I will kill myself
I will show you even if it kills me
I will get you to kill me
I will kill myself by accident
I will almost die (over and over) to get you to love me
I will kill myself to hurt you

I recently wrote an article on the suicide note left by Adolf Hitler, here.

In the press there is currently a lot being said about events in Libya and the fate of Muammar Qaddafi.


These types of leaders provide some good insight into the nature of the suicidal person and how the life script progresses to its final conclusion. High profile political and military leaders who manoeuvre themselves into a position where they have no way left to turn. The difference between these and others is their moves and decisions get highly publicised and are the content of detailed analysis by historians. So one can get a much more complete understanding of what they did to end up at the point of suicide.

All these people at some point must violate the rights of large numbers of people which usually also involves killing large numbers of people. Once done then it is fairly safe to say that he has made the early decision of

1. If things get too bad I will kill myself, or
2. I will get you to kill me

These individuals would know that as soon as they do that then their life is now under significant threat from those on the other side of the political fence. They would know this prior to ordering such killings. They would also know that politics is a very fickle thing and that political power can change quickly. Prior to ordering such mistreatment they would know these two things.

Mask man

It seems safe to say that the situation these people voluntarily entered into indicates they are suicidal in some way. They are voluntarily behaving in such away that it is quite likely they will end up dead by either their own hand or by others and not be natural causes. They are voluntarily behaving in such a way that it is likely their life will be shortened which one could argue is a suicidal act.

With Hitler it was
If things get too bad I will kill myself

and he killed himself

With Saddam Hussein it was
I will get you to kill me

and he got the state to kill him.

With Muammar Qaddafi we will find out what happens. If things progress where his political power is finally gone completely then he is left in the position to carry out the final scene of his suicidal life script. It is very likely that he will die by his own hand or others and not of natural causes.

Hand stand

Each of us on this planet have our own field of influence. We live in a community of some kind whether that be one or two friends, a family, a small community or an entire nation. From a psychological point of view there is no difference between these people. The person who kills his wife in DV (where the death penalty exists) to the person who kills thousands in his own country.

Psychologically there is no difference they are simply constructing their life circumstances such that the early suicide decision can be carried out in the end. There is much hype surrounding powerful political leaders that one tends to forget they are just an individual. Once upon a time he was a little boy with his mother and father who did whatever they did and he made a suicide decision early in life. He then sets about constructing life circumstances such that his suicide life script is played out. That can involve one or two others or millions of others, but psychologically there is no difference between the two.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

The three C's of relationship

3 C's of relationship

Two types of power struggles in relationships

Compete parent

1. Competing for the parent position in the relationship

Compete child.

2. Competing for the child position in relationships

Walking woman

The wall of trivia in relationships. The two parties talk about stuff, argue about stuff or do stuff. They can even go to counselling and talk about stuff. This allows them to get lost in trivia so they can avoid to intimate contact which many (all) of us find frightening.

Wall of trivia


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Book update.

With the negotiations completed and the contract signed I am in the process of writing the next book. Although the title is yet to be decided it is about counselling drug users.

The last book - Working with suicidal individuals - was meant to be 70,000 words and it ended up being 90,000 and I was asked to reduce it. I finally got it down to 87,000 words and it was accepted. This time however I have been asked to keep it to 70,000.


The first chapter I have almost completed is probably going to be chapter four and it is on Harm Reduction. This topic will be found in the vast majority of books on drug counselling. It is usually quite dry and has been said a hundred times before but you really do need to have it in there.

I thought it was going to be about 1,500 words but it ended up being 7,000 and I am really happy with it. I mean really! It has ended up with a really good structure, looks at the overall area and then has lots of new and applicable stuff on the area. Most of it I have never seen in the literature before.


It was one of those situations, that as you start writing you begin to find out that you knew all this stuff, you did not know you knew. It just kept coming out as I wrote along. Problem is one tenth of the book is taken up with this one chapter!

Other than this, as with the first book the initial stages are quite taxing and hard. I have the outline of the book and I keep thinking of things I have written or know of in the literature and frantically putting them in all sorts of folders on my computer. But it’s like at times you have to keep four different things in your head at the one time as you don’t want to miss any. This happened with the last book and should slow down a bit soon I hope as I get most of it together in the right places.

But all in all it is good to have a new project like this. It certainly has my interest and I am motivated to do it. As with the last one when I write I have to let my Free Child run wild at times and then get it all down and together in the right structure and format.

Free Child


Sunday, August 7, 2011

The facts about drugs

I have now been commissioned by my publisher to write a second book, this time on drug counselling. I am currently writing about how it is important for the drug counsellor to have the facts about drug use. Whilst this seems like a fairly simple and rudimentary task it is surprisingly difficult.

One reason for this is that drugs are inevitably a political issue and that means governments will present the facts on drugs in a way which suits their current political need. This extends to the official health information on drugs. Most commonly they tell the truth but they don’t tell the whole truth.


The following comes from a website of the Government of Western Australia - Drug and Alcohol Office.

It provides variety of information including the possible effects of various drugs. Below is what it presents as the list of the possible effects of cannabis. This list is what one usually finds in government presented facts on cannabis. It is presented in this order in the website.

loss of concentration
impaired balance
loss of inhibitions
reduced coordination
feeling of wellbeing
increased heart rate
reddened eyes
increased appetite
tunnel awareness - where a person focuses their awareness on one thing
detachment from reality
panic attacks
respiratory problems
mental health problems in those who are vulnerable
lung cancer
decreased concentration
decreased memory and learning abilities
interference with sexual drive and hormone production
mental health problems in those who are vulnerable

Woman drinking wine

This list presents the effects of cannabis as a very undesirable thing. If this list was accurate who would ever spend their hard earned money to get such effects. Who would ever voluntarily engage in an illegal activity to get such effects. Yet one third of the entire adult population of Australia has done precisely that, engaged in the illegal activity of smoking marijuana. It cannot be as bad as this list suggests.

It does not present the true picture even though it does include all the facts. Yet they are presented in such a way to give a misleading picture and hence my point that drug counsellors can find it hard to get the true picture on the facts about drugs. This list has a political agenda behind it because drugs as I said before are always a political issue.

The reason why so many people have used marijuana is because of effect number five - feeling of wellbeing. The way it is stated and how it is hidden in the list gives a false picture of the effects.

social isolation

If they were going to give a true picture of the effects of cannabis at the top of the list they would say - The vast majority of users will get the effect where the cannabis makes them feel really, really, really good. Clearly this is very different from it being included as the fifth effect and simply put as, a feeling of well being.

A government website could never be so candid because there would be an outcry from various groups saying such a statement encourages cannabis use. That may or may not be true. However the point at hand is this demonstrates how hard it is to get the true picture on the facts of drugs. Those engaged in drug counselling have to negotiate the various political agendas on both sides of the fence to get accurate information which obviously the drug counsellor must have.


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Bereavement neurosis

Good on the DSM-5. This book to be published in 2013 has defined a type of grief that is a mental disorder or perhaps could be called neurotic.

They have put a time limit on normal grief. Somewhat of a courageous thing to do and one that I have been advocating for some time. People who are grieving excessively after a year are considered to be neurotic or have a mental disorder as they say.

This could bring some criticism as it is not a politically correct thing to do. Bereavement counsellors tell us that people grieve in their own time and way. I agree with this to some extent but it is also a view promoted by grief counsellors that in my view has lead to massive over servicing of such clients in a billion dollar a year industry.

clowns carry coffin

Some will see it as being too harsh on the bereaved. They will say to tell someone that their grieving should be somewhat complete after a year is a mean thing to do and not kind to a person who has suffered a great loss.

In my view, and this is supported by psychological research, after a year a significant amount of the grief should have passed. With a close loved one, one would expect there to be some more grief after that time but it will tend to be intermittent and not usually of a intense nature. It probably takes about 4 years for a person to fully psychologically readjust after the loss of a very close loved one. But the actual grief and crying should mostly be gone after 12 month period if the grief is allowed to proceed normally.

Some will argue that such a statement in the DSM-5 does not take into account cultural differences. I have also discussed this before. There are many wide and varied cultural differences in funerals and grief rituals. However underneath the rituals the same psychological processes apply no matter what culture one is from. The process cited in the paragraph above applies if you live in Australia, Egypt, Siberia, China or where ever. That same basic psychological process applies to all humans whilst the burial rituals do vary considerably between cultures. The actual burial or formal ceremony for the dead is only one very small part of any psychological grief response for the loved ones who remain.


The problem with bereavement is that it is so prone to secondary gains. A secondary gain is when a psychological problem starts to be used to the advantage of the sufferer. A woman who starts to be agoraphobic learns over time that this allows her to control her husband more. She cannot leave the house so she can ring him at any time to do tasks for her. A mother who develops depression may learn over time that her children start to feel sorry for her and visit more. These are what are known as secondary gains.

When you suffer the loss of a closed loved one what happens. People all of a sudden become kind and nurturing to you. They cook you casseroles, drop in to see how you are going and mow the front lawn for you. When you start to get over the grief that all stops and things go back to how they were before. For socially isolated and emotionally deprived people this can be very attractive and they will be reluctant to end the grief.

rose reds

Finally it should be noted that the development of a secondary gain is an unconscious process developed by an individual who is struggling with life. If it is a conscious thought out plan it stops being a secondary gain and becomes manipulation.

Good on the DSM-5 for doing this and it may come in for some criticism when the book is published.